Here's a bunch of quotes that I've found in various places. These have mostly been found on the Internet. By now, I've forgotten where most of these are from. *G* Have fun.


Friendly fire isn’t.
-Askani Proverb

What is, is.
-Askani Proverb

The why of any situation is secondary to the situation itself.
-Askani Proverb

Whatever can go wrong, will.
-Mother Askani

I take orders from only one person, me!
-Han Solo

Hell hath no fury like a mutant whose vacation plans have been put on hold.
-Beast, about Wolverine

Some fruitloop waving around the 2nd law of Thermodynamics like its a signed confession from God isn’t going to convince me evolution is a hoax.

Most Internet flame wars are started by cats who did not get what they wanted for supper.
-Judy Heim

If you don’t like my driving, get off the sidewalk.

Ya have to tell me? The man has worked his whole life to make intimidation a science... Ah think he’s got it now. Ah think his hobby is running poor, young, unsuspectin’ mutants into the ground.
-Cannonball, about Cable

Oh, I don’t know about that. You could stand there and look mean and present quite an intimidating front.
-Dana Hawkes, about Cable

But there’s nothing better for bonding than some good, old-fashioned villain-bashing.
-Pete Wisdom

Of course. Marry into the Summers family, get instant enemies, just add water.
-Samantha Wheeler

X-Force: known and feared by turf growers everywhere.

We’re going to have a mutant training session in the gym? Like, we’re gonna practice fighting sentient monster basketballs from the fifth dimension?

I gotta admit I was a little ticked at you guys before--But we’re way past that now.

How else am I to get you to treat me like a man of weight and substance unless I act as morally perturbed and angst-ridden as everyone else in this room?

Follow me, everyone--I know the way! I met a guard who was nice enough to tell me where Magneto’s command center is. Then I was nice and helped him pick up his teeth.

I exhausted my supply of hope about two o’clock this morning. All that’s left is anger, frustration, and an overwhelming desire to cram 355 lbs. of blue fur down Stryfe’s throat!

On Real Evil
Beast: Bobby, we seem to have encountered an opponent far more dangerous then Magneto, more devious than Mr. Sinister, more dastardly than--
Angel: Hank, give it a rest and give it to me. It’s a bow tie for crying out loud! How hard could it be to figure out?
Havok: Gee, I don’t know, Warren Worthington, society-boy--Didn’t you always used to just wear clip-ons?
Cyclops: I’m doomed.

On Shopping At FAO Schwartz In New York On Christmas Eve
Beast: What about you Sam?
Cannonball: Actually, I’d love to join y’all. Ah just got a few things to pick up for my brothers and sisters first. *he unrolls a long list* I’m just gonna hop in t’toy store right quick and pick ‘em. It shouldn’t take 5 minutes. See ya at the restaurant?
Beast: Riiight. 5 minutes. *whispers to Trish* We’ll never see him again.

On Tense Situations
Xaiver: Henry--report!
Beast: ‘Stars and garters’ is the only thing that springs to mind, sir.
Banshee: Saints preserve us.
Beast: Okay, that too.

A clean and uncluttered desk is the sign of a SICK MIND!!

If you do something once, people call it an accident. If you do it twice, they call it a coincidence. But do it a third time and you’ve just proven a natural law.
-Grace Murry Harper

Education is that which allows you to get into more intelligent trouble.

Research is formalized curiosity. It is poking and prying with a purpose.
-Zora Neale Hurson

School is where you go to learn to communicate, but teachers say, “No talking!”

When you stop to think, don’t forget to start up again.

Research is what I am doing when I don’t know what I’m doing.
-Wernher von Braun

On Spike
Kielle: Spike. Mmm.
* Joan_M giggles. And thus the Lady Scribe summarizes a whole discussion with two words :)

There are no stupid questions but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.

Joan_M: I am NOT cuddling a horny bloodsucking toddler!!

Winsock is performing illegal acts.

Scully: Have you ever had any dealings with a cow?
Mulder: Agent Scully, WHAT are you implying?

Matt Nute On Humidity:
* M-Nute remembers the first time he went to Missouri. I'd never dealt with humidity before, ever. I got off the bus and went "Ah! I'm all sticky!"
M-Nute: "Why am I sticky?" "It's humidity" "What's that?" "Water in the air." "Where I'm from, we call that RAIN."

Jim_Smith: Indi: He's gained sentience and evolved beyond Foe's intelligence. Sadly, this being Foe, it only took Nudge five minutes to do this...

* Edana_ni_Emer notes that if Al gets snugged/smooched/cuddled every time he pings out and joins again, he's going to get a lot of lovin'.

On Nutes And Fruitcakes
* Epona_Harper facepalms...Nute's a fruitcake lover. Just like my dad.
Nique: I read that 'Nute's fruitcake lover.' I...need more coffee.

Azzy: "I'm not a racist. I hate all people equally."

Sabia: I think I'd be the most anti-social Borg ever. "You will be assim-oh geez. No way. That'd mean I'd be *stuck* with you. Nevermind. We'll just shoot you instead."

Firebird308: Frito: ...Why are you asking Nute if he wants your food here when--I get the impression of--you can just yell down the hall/next room?
Lyssie: Firy: 'cause it's fun?
Frito_M: FB - I type faster than I talk, and I find it amusing that every time I do it, someone asks me that question.
Frito_M: Besides, the last time I did it, it caused a long discussion about the merits of cupcakes.

* Melodist starts thwapping the spam. "Just because I don't want to forward this to 300 people doesn't mean I support terrorism!"
Foenix: Mel: WHAT?? How dare you not clog bandwidth!!

* Edana_ni_Emer snorts. One day, I hope his life is saved by a flaming pagan gay man with sparkly nail polish, a lisp, and a huge pentacle around his neck.

* Foenix grabs the Akira tin
Jim_Smith: Foe: That's it...go get him....
Mike_Smith: Jim: With a tin? What's he gonna do, offer me butter mints?
* Jim_Smith puts up a sign that says "$50.00 reward for shooting Mikes. Especially this Mike."
* Foenix runs up behind Mike_Smith and *clangs* them upside the head with an Akira collector's tin.
Mike_Smith: Foe: OK, OK, you got me. Fair and square. Would you like to shoot me now, or wait till you get home?
Jim_Smith: Foe: What are you waiting for!? Shoot him! Shoot him now!?
Mike_Smith: Jim: You keep out of this! He doesn't have to shoot you now.
* Firebird308 looks oddly at the guys. "You guys are making me start to seriously question the sanity of the general male population."
`Alan: FB: What, only start?
Mike_Smith: FB: All Mike knows is I got Shai curled up next to me, and my Esteemed Colleague here is busy picking up his face. Insane like a fox, I say.

* Foenix nods. Guy Gardner is my hero.
Speedy_Paul: Foe- My condolences.
* Firebird308 waits to see if Paul is smited with the Akira tin.
* Foenix throws the corpse of the flying white kitty of death at Speedy_Paul's face!!
Speedy_Paul: O.o
* Archetypex grins. Years back, my father gave me a wedge and a short-handled sledge and set me to the task of splitting an entire tree's worth of wood. I disturbed him by yelling "ODIN!" with each hammer strike :-)

* Archetypex is cursed by a phonographic memory for songs.
Hex_16: Arch: Maybe I'm just tired, but I read that as "pornographic memory"

BC-Homework: Erm, what are the two biggest problems facing developed countries? (got polution, for one of them) and how can third world countries assist?
* Foenix reads that as "How can third world countries exist?"

Foenix: "100 years ago, superstition and the sword ruled. Foenix was bored out of his mind..."

* Foenix claws his eyes. ACK!!
Foenix: Pink background, blue text!

* ArchBack picks Epi up and sings 'Rockabye Baby'.
*** Epona_Harper has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
Nique: PK! Look what you did!
Persephone_Kore: Nique: It wasn't me! It was Arch!

* Edana_ni_Emer still remembers the fellow who kept his kilt up for too long and took an arrow in the rear. That must have hurt.
Hex_16: Edana: Imagine how much it would've hurt if he had been hit in the other side...
Edana_ni_Emer: And I'm sure it was much better than, say, an arrow in the front.

Nisie: Sort of... And it just hit me that Emma and Betsy would make a great team if I ever wrote slash stuff.
* Persephone_Wolf blinks. Whatever did I miss?
*** Persephone_Kore has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
Nisie: Talk about stunning the Kore...

Sabia: That was disturbing. Her statement could imply she just ate Mel's hand.

Indigo_: "I'm going to seduce you into my bed, so you will give me what I ask or I will DESTROY your hair band!"

`Alan: My sister was a big Care Bears and My Little Pony fan too. I tell ya, there's nothing more fun to a ten-year-old than to make fun of the Care Bear movies in your little sister's hearing. :)

Firebird308: I taped a bunch of the X-Men show from the 90's. Almost got the entire Dark Phoenix saga. Then some moron decided to interupt with a report. I had been waiting for years to get the entire storyline on tape. ¬.¬
Indigo_: FB: If they interrupted, I'm sure it was important.
Firebird308: Indi: I know, but did they have to do it during one of maybe two shows that I actually watched? >_<
Indigo_: FB: The important thing probably happened during your one of maybe two shows that you actually watched.
Andrea13: Indi: You just *had* to drag logic into this. ;)

* Firebird308 covers her eyes. "When updating Crantz on what was going on, I accidently typed 'Kiko just had to unplug her phone because peabrain just killed her again.' instead of 'Kiko just had to unplug her phone because peabrain just called her again.'"
* Ped snerks in amusement
Andrea13: Fire: Oops.

M-Nute: Alan: Yeah, but since I'm eating out of the take-out container, cutting steak with my bayonet is a bit of overkill.

* M-Nute nods. That was hilarious. "Tap, what're you eating?" "Meat." "Can you be more specific?" "No. Meat. Onna stick."

* Indigo_ cuts her hamburgers too. Eat 'em with knife and forg.
Indigo_: er, fork.
Indigo_: DREA! Stop trying to make me type 'frog' when I don't need to!
AlecWire: How does this make sens- Hang on a sec. [checks sanity at door] Much better.
Andrea13: Wire: See my revision. I cut burgers, not frogs. My mind is on vacation. :)
AlecWire: Drea: Ah. I got a time-share for mine.

Due to lack of interest, today has been cancelled.

Never knock on Death’s door
...Ring the bell and run. He HATES that!

This is not fun! I’ve had fun! THIS ISN’T IT!!!
-Peter Venkman

The First Stagehand’s Law (AKA The Frisbee Law): Never, ever precede anything with “Watch this.”

You never learn to swear until you learn to drive!

About Shatterstar:
Blood warrior of the fashion police, Roberto thought uncontrollably.

Maeve77: Aack! We've all just contributed to the delinquency of a minor!
Archetypex: Maeve: Relax. If they're in here, they're delinquents by definition...

Indiana_J: The Cat Peep before it dies: "No, no! I've been a GOOD sex slave, mistress! NOOOO..."
Firebird308: Indy_J: O.o
* Ped snerks in amusement
* Indiana_J smiles sweetly at FB.
Firebird308: That poor, poor Peep... *G*

The Romans conquered the Greeks, the Egyptians, and the Gauls. Then they come to Scotland, where they find legions of naked hairy, blue screaming men and women. They say 'to hell with this', then build a big honking wall to keep the weirdos out.
-Will Riley; The Archetype Association

Threnody: An Irishman isn't drunk so long as he can hold onto a blade of grass and not fall off the world.

That program is my bitch, and it needs to be reminded of that.
-Zanne, on a PSP program

"Of all the drugs that come out of Columbia, Caffeine is my favorite."
-tygakatt, in a conversation regarding coffee

"You can't force good writing. You can't work for it. You just need to relax and let it come to you, or else it'll show up, and your readers will know it. It's kinda like having an orgasm."
-Zanne, in a conversation with kylen15

* daroos has little holes where her teeth were, but they're happy little holes.
Epona_Harper: May all your holes be happy holes. Man, that sound sick when you think of it a certain way. :)

I got back yesterday afternoon, but I was dead.

firebird308 has a momentary image going "Hey! We're trying to sleep here!" "EAT TIKI TORCH!" ::FWOOMP::

"Breaking hearts and faces daily."
-about Black Canary

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"You know the world's moving too fast when email's inconvenient because of its slowness..."
-Sami Merchi

"It's not God I have the problem with, it's just some of his followers down here."

Change, Mutate, Adapt--or Die.

"Never underextimate the power of very stupid people in large groups."
-John Kenneth Galbraith