DISCLAIMER: The universe and quite a few of the characters mentioned belong to DC. Jason Todd as Draco is Kaylee's, the Browns and Beldaccis belong to Mel, I'm using them with permission. If you ask nice, Mel does let you come into her yard and play with her babies. ;) This story actually comes after hers, which is still being beta-read, but it'll probably be easier on you if you read this light fluffy one first.

But this fluff with her boy is for KJ herself, because it's her birthday and she wanted happy stories. Happy birthday, honey. :)

When I Grow Up

by Diamonde

Jason Todd (sometimes called 'Draco' or 'that green bastard', but shh, it's a secret) had reached the point where he could identify Gina Beldacci's taxi just by the sound of its engine. Sometimes it invaded his nightmares. But now it there was a new overtone of ill health to it, a shuddering cough that made him wince.

Walking over to the window as the very sick car drove straight up, he looked in sympathetically at the righteously furious owner. "Hi Gina."

Gina squeezed her eyes shut and rested her head on the steering wheel. "He's broken. Fix him."

Jason sighed. "And how are you?" he asked the air with good-natured sarcasm.

"I'm glad you asked that." Gina slammed the door shut behind her with barely-restrained violence. "While you fix him, I'm going to tell you all about my day."

"Lucky me, right?" Jason began inspecting the car from the other side. Gina followed him.

"I was woken up after exactly four hours and forty-seven minutes of sleep by my children. Or, more precisely, by Aaron screaming. Since you don't have kids, I'll explain."

"I can ima-"

"The outraged scream of one of your offspring in pain cuts through happy napping like a chainsaw through cheesecake. And since they're hurt, you can't even yell at them for waking you up!"

"What happened to Aaron?" He was fairly sure that Gina was too frustrated to skip a single detail in her rant, but it was worth a try.

Helping herself to a drink from the garage's fridge, despite its cunning disguise of greasy cloth and mismatched headlights, Gina sighed. "Apparently Angela grabbed his hair and pulled until he dressed up as Superman. Then she chased him around the house wearing a Draco costume." She paused for effect. Most of it was lost on Jason, who'd frozen with shock at the words 'Draco costume' coming out of someone else's mouth. "Eventually Superman tried to hide in the linen closet. Draco followed him in, and knocked Superman's tooth out with her head. He screamed like a girl, but that's not really surprising. He's a very young Superman and his voice hasn't broken yet."

Jason felt a grin spreading inexorably across his face. "Angela dressed up as DRACO?"

"Oh, it was a masterpiece that must be seen to be believed." Gina shook her head, but smiled slightly. "The green swimsuit isn't too bad, but it's got that little yellow frill around the middle. Draco doesn't have frills." She imitated Angela's earnest speech perfectly.

No, he certainly doesn't have frills. It detracts from the tough image. "And?"

"Oh, it gets better. To cover up the frill, she used my old green karate belt. Of course, she had to wrap it around herself about five times." Customer sighed, mechanic laughed. "Those were the bits I recognized easily in my rather semi-conscious attempts to pull her off Superman. It was another few minutes before I realised she was wearing black support pantyhose underneath. Of course, those had runs in them and were far too big. But, superheroes being resourceful people, she'd cut the feet off and pulled them over her head instead."

By this point Jason was kneeling on the ground trying to get his breath back. "No mask?" The question leapt out before he could stop it.

"Definitely a mask. She had one of those cardboard ones from a birthday party, so she coloured it green with a crayon and taped it to the stocking."


"The elastic was broken," Gina explained seriously. "But she assures me that those rather worn Mary-Janes on her feet were really boots, especially designed for kicking criminal butt." Glancing at the car, Gina glared pointedly. "Hey, stop laughing and get back to work."

"Sorry," Jason wheezed.

Gina nodded as her orders were obeyed and continued with the story. "Of course, given the way Superman was bleeding, medical attention was the first priority. I put some clothes on, pulled the towel out of Superman's collar on the way to the car and ignored Draco's ensemble because nothing short of physical force was going to remove it. Why was I taking Draco with me?" She poked him in the ribs. "Because Mama was on her daily walk to bring YOU lunch, so there was nobody to make sure she didn't decide to be Astro Boy and jump off the roof!"

"Give up Draco to be Astro Boy? Never happen!" Draco's ego said with Jason's mouth.

"She stayed Draco all the way to the clinic, and when we got there she put even more work into it." Gina folded her arms against the roof of the car and rested her head on them. "She attacked a kid with measles in the waiting room."

"You're kidding." Jason grinned. She was enjoying telling him about it; her shoulders were shaking with repressed laughter as she finally got to look back on her obviously hellish morning and laugh.

"Oh no. I apologized profusely to the poor boy's mother, of course. I tried to get Draco to apologize too, but Draco insisted that anybody that ugly had to be a supervillain. Then I had to apologize for that too. The nice woman took it fairly well. Gave a very philosophical answer." Raising her head, Gina gave a fair attempt at looking enigmatic. "'Every kid has a Titan uniform in the back of their closet. So does every hooker, which just goes to show.'"

They looked at each other and both burst out laughing. Oh, I HAVE to tell Dick that one. While Garth's there.

"Yes, it's a disturbing image. But at the time I really wasn't in the mood to appreciate the humour." Gina grinned with a touch of satisfaction. "But don't worry, Draco got hers. The receptionist brought in both files by mistake, since they were both A. Browns, and after he'd decided that Superman would live and his tooth would grow back in a year or so the doctor reminded me that Draco's vaccinations were overdue."

"And since you were there anyway..."

"Big needle right in the arm." Gina shrugged. "I wasn't about to take pity on her after she'd been responsible for dragging me out of sleep, bed and the house and then attacked a child with an infectious disease."

"Has she been vaccinated for that one?"

"Yeah, but these things are never 100%. Besides, it's the principle of the thing." She sighed. "So Draco whinged all the way home, and I headed out for work...got a whole six blocks when Batman here went into a noisy death scene." Gina slapped the roof lightly, but with obvious dislike.

Jason choked again. "You called it BATMAN?!"

Gina glared at the taxi. "Well it sure as hell isn't Wonder Woman."

Jason was still grinning to himself as he showered and prepared for a night of Dracoing. Draco was probably going to end up making all sorts of terrible poses on the rooftops, but...he had a fan.

He was still dripping on the mat when the computer beeped in the other room, and the temptation was too much to resist. Padding out less than half-dressed, Jason almost bounced up to the computer and grinned into the camera. "Hi Babs. Want to hear something really cute?"

"Sure. But it better not be about cars." She smiled back.

"No, it's a little Draco." Jason beamed.

Babs gave it her daytime soap opera best for that opening. "You had a little Draco?! Jason, what were you THINKING! Who's the mother? Wait, I don't want to know..."

The wrist pressed dramatically to the forehead did nothing to protect her from Jason's withering glare. "Gina, actually."

"You had a little Draco with GINA?"

"Angela! I'm talking about ANGELA. And if you say 'Why didn't you tell us Angela was yours' I'll do something really juvenile."

"I'll be good." She smiled innocently. "Tell me why Angela's a little Draco, then."

"She made herself a Draco costume. Then she hurt Aaron until he dressed up as Superman and beat the crap out of him. Knocked his tooth out, in fact." He sighed contentedly and smirked. "Draco kicked Superman's ass."

"Is that a neon 'applause' sign I see flashing on your ego there?"

He ignored her and puffed his chest out instead. "Who's th' man NOW, huh?"

"You are, Jays. Superman, Hawkman, and now The Incredible Vicarious Victory Man." She laughed. "You're never going to grow up, are you?"

"I don't know. It's all in the hands of God. I like to call her Cagey..."

Barbara raised an eyebrow. "KG?"

"She certainly isn't letting me in on the plan." It was Jason's turn to be melodramatic. "I may appear to be the Mighty Draco, scourge of criminals throughout Gotham's sordid crotch...but in truth I am merely a pawn in a larger game of destinies and fate."

"And that would be so much more convincing if you weren't standing there in boxer shorts."

Jason looked down. "They're clean, respectable boxer shorts. What are you complaining about?"

"You haven't brushed your hair, either."

"Hey, if I wanted mothering I'd be talking to Dick."

"Sorry." In rolling her eyes at the willful immaturity of males in spandex, a little postit-note came into the Oracle's field of vision. It said 'Fred!'. She smiled. "So...tell me about Angela."

For understandable reasons, Jason was more than happy to retell almost the entire tale verbatim. Loving attention was paid to the details of Little Draco's costume, which made him laugh all over again. Babs lost control over the part about the Titan uniforms.

"So does...oh dear..." Babs wheezed. "You really have to-"

"I will. There's no way I'm going to forget that one." He grinned. "In fact, I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I found a hooker on the way home and asked her."

Babs laughed. "You ASKED?"

"She was there by herself, I couldn't see any harm. So I stopped and asked her if she has a Titan's uniform."

"What did she say?"

"She said 'Thirty, and the uniform's five extra.' So I gave her the five and came straight home."

"Thirty too much for poverty-stricken little Draco?" Babs asked, looking as pitying as she could on short notice.

Jason smiled. "No, she just didn't have a Batgirl suit."

She glared halfheartedly, more amused than embarrassed. "Cheeky little brat."

"I object to that 'little' part.

"You are in a good mood, aren't you?"

After a moment's pause, Jason smiled to himself. "Yeah, I am. The Beldacci's keep reminding me that Draco's making a difference, even if it's just a small one. Of course, to bring me my nice day Gina was having a revolting one, but I fixed Batman pretty quickly so maybe her afternoon wasn't so bad."

"She called the car BATMAN?"

"He's a man. All men are useless bastards that don't work," Jason translated.

"Even you?"

"No, not me. To Gina, I'm not a man. I," he paused dramatically, "am her mechanic. I can turn Batman into Wonder Woman."


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